Debbie Grattan

I recall a little awards presentation at the local VFW for my daughter’s school a few years back.  Middle-schoolers were asked to write a short essay on why our armed forces are important.  My daughter is a truly outstanding writer, but she didn’t win the contest.

In fact, she didn’t even place.

This was quite upsetting to her, as she had become accustomed to winning in most aspects of her 13 years of life at the time. She’s consistently been a 4.0 student, a medal-winning member of her Science Olympiad team, sings solos in her choir, takes dance, has made a good income as a child voice over actor for several years.

She’s been very involved in theatre productions since she was about 8 years old, winning many leading roles. Can you relate – fellow proud parents of over-achieving youngsters??

Yet, when she didn’t win top three in this little writing content, and she knew that she would not be advancing any further, she declared that she must be a terrible writer.

Why else would she not have been selected as the winner? And if she couldn’t even be selected as a winner in a little school essay contest, how could she ever think that she could someday be a published writer (which is one of her goals)?

Of course, this became one of those “teach-able moments” for me as a parent, feeling like I needed to jump in and provide a better perspective.  My husband and I were quick to point out that there are many successful people in all different types of professions, who have failed many more times than they have succeeded.

That the MOST successful people are usually also the people who have failed the most in life.

That failure is usually what drives a serious, goal-driven person to keep moving forward, refining, and improving upon their given talent, until they reach an even higher goal.

We tried to help her see that there is subjectivity in judging any artistic endeavor, such as writing.  It’s just someone’s opinion and if there had been different judges there could have been a different outcome.

My husband pointed out that JK Rowling was turned down many times, before she finally found a publisher willing to publish her first Harry Potter book (and there are dozens more stories like that one). Meryl Streep has lost MANY more awards than she’s won.  Does that make her a loser? Of course not. There are hundreds of examples of people who persisted in the face of failure and repetitive loss.

Despite all this evidence to support the notion that losing isn’t really a bad thing after all, my daughter still felt the sting; the “agony of defeat,” and it took until the next morning for her to be back to her usual cheery self again. A few hours of sleep can do wonders!

Winning and Losing – Two Sides of the Same Coin

So what is it, within each of us, that makes us want to win, and hate to lose?  And why do losses in life lead us to doubt our abilities ?  Why does another person’s opinion (or group of people – or “experts”) mean so much?  Why do we need an award to feel worthy?

An inaugural award ceremony for the VO industry a few months prior to my daughter’s award ceremony prompted quite a bit of chatter on both sides about why this (a) was great and long overdue, or (b) self-serving, bordering on non-essential in the industry.

One side argued that asking for money from VO actors to nominate themselves in certain categories was outrageous, and simply a way for the proprietors to make money.  The other side argued that this is standard in the industry, pointing out that acting, advertising, and other creative awards always require a fee to enter, and that winning is then a great feather in the cap for future work, elevating one’s name or company to an “award-winning” status.

I suppose that having “Academy Award Winner” in front of your name can be an achievement of recognition within an industry to propel your career forward.  At least it lets everyone know that you were selected, above all others in your category as the BEST one, for a given year.

While I love watching awards shows, I’ve never agreed that judging a “best” performance of one actor over another is necessary.  Can’t they all be terrific, in their varying roles?  Isn’t that what life it about; variety in everything… Something for everyone?

We were also quick to point out that when accolades are given to the award winners, the “haters” often appear. So, even when you achieve the “winner” status, then you may have to deal with folks who are trying to knock you out of that position, or attack you just because you are a “winner” and they are jealous or insecure about their own talent and ability, or whatever.

Of course, that shouldn’t be a reason to avoid winning, or doing one’s best. But in school, (especially in junior high) this type of dynamic can be brutal. It’s hard to watch your child have to deal with cruel people. Yet, those types of people exist in the world, so we all must learn how to manage the way we think, feel, and respond to what they say and do.

Add social media to the mix and the situation becomes even more intense, particularly when cruel comments can be posted anonymously or under fake accounts.

Social media is also a place where kids, and adults, are constantly exposed to other people’s biggest “wins.” Based on the carefully selected moments and photos people post on their feeds, many lives can appear to be the epitome of perfect, made up only of gorgeous sunsets, exotic vacations and blissful encounters. When those viewing the picture-perfect feeds start comparing the feeds to their own rather ordinary lives, the “agony of defeat” can become a perpetual state of mind.

Striving to Be the Best at What You Do

I understand wanting to be the best.  In the voiceover profession, certainly competition is a big part of the day to day.  When only one voice will be selected for any given commercial voice over spot or campaign, and money, future connections and status is on the line for the winner of the competition, it drives us all to up our game.

But is this what we teach our kids?  That life is about competing for everything, and that it’s usually winner take all? It seems like after about 4th grade, they start keeping score in sporting matches, and begin handing out letter grades, to make sure to label who is the first place team, or A student. What does that do to the ones who aren’t first, or who pull a C average?

We’d like to think it motivates them to do better. But sometimes there is an opposite outcome and a person gets very discouraged because they can’t seem to measure up. There are many casualties that result from this “always be the best” attitude.

I don’t have the answers to these questions.  Personally, I fluctuate back and forth between the message that a strong work ethic is very important and that competition is pervasive and pretty much unavoidable on virtually every level of existence, and that practice is always necessary to be in the winner’s circle, regardless of how naturally gifted you are at something.

Then, on the other side, I have to show compassion for people, and kids especially (including my own) who may not be at the top of the heap, and who struggle with their self-esteem when the game keeps getting harder to play and win.

I find in raising my children that this one perspective around how to handle winning and losing can have big ripple effects. I suspect that the habits they create around this now will shape their future success and quality of life. So, it’s important to try to help them see a balanced approach that celebrates winning and also recognizes losing for the value that it brings.

How do you deal with losing in life and work? What perspective do you use that helps you see losing as a valuable step in winning? Please share your thoughts and comments!

My goal from the very beginning of my acting career was to be a successful working actor. I had the dream that I could make my living as an actor for my entire life, despite the discouraging statistics around job outlook and wage projections for working actors.

In the “old days” before the Internet, the acting landscape was a whole lot different than it is today.

The old-school way of building a successful acting career consisted of landing a job, doing it well, and then landing another job that was more visible, doing it well, repeat, repeat, repeat.

Growing your acting career was based on making new contacts, gaining experience, honing skills and talents, and ultimately (and most importantly) doing “good work” on stage, on screen or in the recording booth.

With persistence and a little bit of luck, eventually the right people would take notice and better opportunities would lead to better jobs and increasing levels of success.

That was how the game looked to me as a young, fresh-out-of-college drama grad embarking on my journey to live my dream and be a successful working actor.

And, do you know what? That simple approach has served me quite well over the years. Even as I transitioned from stage and screen acting to being a professional voice over actor, I still found that if I primarily focused on doing “good work” at every step along the way, one success always lead to another. It was a clear, predictable path.

A Lot More to Professional Voice Over Acting Than People Realize

In today’s internet-driven world, being good at what you do as an actor (especially a professional voice over actor) is still most important. However, there is a new part of the success equation that can create some daunting challenges for many would-be voice over actors just starting out. And even for the seasoned pros, it can still be a time-consuming and arduous treadmill.

TRUTH: We working actors have to do a whole lot more marketing of our talents and ourselves than I ever imagined would be necessary.

Sure, I expected I’d have to promote myself and my profession to some degree, and make lots of new contacts along the way.

But the level and type of marketing that seems to be required today to keep the new business flowing is completely unexpected.

Not only do we have to perform the good work that is at the foundation of our profession, but we have to build and maintain a great website, create fabulous “google-worthy” blog content that builds our audience, contribute profoundly to social media and, in general, stay on top of the constant technological changes that affect how we market our services and selves.

Our livelihood as actors no longer hinges on simply doing what we do well. Now, we also have to build and maintain an intriguing online persona that is attractive to our potential clients as well as to the world in general.

No pressure there!

In a memorable interview, the highly accomplished, talented and ubiquitous Kevin Bacon was asked on The Today Show about how he would navigate the waters of social media, in addition to simply plying his acting craft, if he were just starting out in the entertainment industry today.

Fast forward to about the 2:45 minute mark to hear him speak on this topic… 

He was obviously pretty reticent about the idea. He mentions how when he was young and building his career he “really just wanted to be a serious actor,” (doing good work) and the idea of being a “personality” was the last thing he wanted to think about.

Kevin goes on to say,

Now, in a funny way, if you want to be taken seriously (as an actor) you almost have to be more of a personality and you have to nurture that part of your persona. And that’s a kind of pressure I’m glad I didn’t have to deal with.

I guess in a way, he prefers a full six degrees of separation from his audience over the one degree provided by his Twitter feed.

I’ll bet William Shatner would agree, especially after a particularly memorable Twitter backlash he was hit with soon after Leonard Nimoy’s death.

When William Shatner tweeted over the weekend that he had a prior charity commitment that would prevent him from attending Nimoy’s funeral, he got hit with a negative (and totally inappropriate IMHO) Twitter-storm of responses. Wow, makes me wonder why celebs put up with that kind of “fan support.”

Oh yeah, because they HAVE TO!

I guess these days, if you’re an actor or celebrity, YOUR business is EVERYbody’s business. It’s all apparently just part of that persona-maintenance project. 

How Does an Actor Manage It All

While the pressures of celebrity are not part of my universe, I do still have to play a similar game of persona managing.

So, if this is the new normal, how the heck do we keep up with all this stuff? And by stuff, I mean all of the chores we have to do in addition to our actual professional skills for which we actually get paid!

1. Outsource What You Can

For working professional voice over talents, one way to manage it all is to outsource, if we can afford it. Procuring agents, forming a marketing team, hiring (or in my case marrying) a business manager, an audio editor and others to help us out, can free up huge amounts of time which allow us to get back to the work of doing our good work.

However, one must be mindful to manage and maintain these relationships as well, since they can easily disappear or be disrupted. Additionally, delegating the management of marketing our persona to others can be very tricky business and demands some oversight. These types of relationships must be chosen very carefully.

Based on the Twitter backlash received by Shatner, along with the social media horror stories many companies have lived to tell, it’s also imperative to be very careful about what gets posted on your social media accounts.

2.  Find the DIY Marketing Approach that Works Best For You

If we can’t afford or just don’t want to go down the road of hiring extra help, we can still look for ways to get the biggest bang for our personal efforts using whatever marketing strategy seems to fit best. The content generation approach is certainly not the only way to go, but it seems most effective if you are trying to build good search engine rankings.

In addition to publishing regular blog posts, you can also to choose to incorporate additional DIY marketing strategies such as:

• Keyword research and SEO
• Scheduling social media posts in advance for an entire week, or month
• Investing in automated marketing software that takes care of the repetitive tasks, like email nurturing
• Expanding your exposure with guest blogs and responses to industry-related questions in forums and groups

Finding DIY marketing tactics that gel with your personality and strengths is key. But the tricky question around this whole marketing approach question is “how much time will I have to spend on my marketing?”

The tricky question around this whole marketing approach question is “how much time will I have to spend on my marketing?”

Every minute I spend marketing is a minute I’m not spending recording a job, preparing a quote or crafting a custom voiceover audition. This is the primary reason why I’ve chosen to delegate as much of my marketing chores as I can. That way, I can stay focused on doing my good work and earning the income that allows me to keep on living my dream of being a successful working actor.

How do you manage the marketing chores that are required in your business? I’d love to hear your comments, especially if you have found effective strategies that are working well for you.

Fear is one sneaky little critter, and it can be a pretty crafty foe when it comes to stopping us from doing all kinds of things…

Like asking for what we want.

I’m not talking about asking for what we want by slamming down our fists with a ridiculous demand. I’m referring to polite and non-threatening requests that can help us get ahead in our careers – and the world in general.

What Can Happen When We Ask

Let me give a couple of examples from my own recent experience, both of which came up during projects I was completing for voice-over business clients. In both instances, some changes occurred during the project, and I felt the fee amount that we had originally agreed upon needed to be raised a bit to adequately compensate for the additional work and usage involved.

It would have been SO easy to ignore that feeling in my gut and just finish the project, thereby avoiding the risk of rocking anyone’s boat. But, experience has taught me that when I feel the urge to make a request, it is best that I speak up. So, I emailed a very polite message to each client explaining why I felt the pay should be more than what we had originally estimated.

In both cases, the request resulted in a pay increase. It also prompted a phone conversation where we discussed improving our pricing policy. On the other, the client more than doubled what they originally offered!

Why Asking for What You Want Matters in the Voice-Over Business

Asking for what we want can be especially important in being fairly compensated for your time and talent in the voice-over business. The market can often seem diluted with so many vying for the same jobs; we might think low pricing is the way to win. But, in many cases, voice-over clients are willing to pay for better quality and more value.

And in ALL cases, we’ll never know… unless we ask. Not every request for a pay increase necessarily results in one. I’ve had instances where a loyal client had a very tight budget on a particular job, and I agreed to a lesser rate than usual. We were still able to discuss the issue in a positive light and lay the groundwork for future opportunities.

Asking for what we want is magical that way. And it sure beats what can happen when we’re too afraid to speak up.

What Can Happen When We Don’t Ask

When we’re too fearful of making a request, bad things can happen. For starters, we’re not likely to get what we want because people won’t have a clue as to what that is. We can then start to feel resentful, which can make us unhappy in our work as well as our lives.

Feeling resentful toward the people helping to pay our bills is self-sabotaging and absolutely deadly in the voice-over business. Fear can still stop us from making our requests. We may be afraid of being rejected. We may be afraid of making someone upset. We may envision a confrontation or think that the request will change our relationship with the person somehow. It’s human nature to want to be liked and to make people happy, and we may fear that making a request will result in a negative outcome.

While fear may be playing all those games in our heads, we need to remember that the basic reality of the situation is much simpler. In a business situation, what is the worst thing that will likely happen if we politely ask for what we want?

The person might say, “No.” And “no” is not the end of the world. “No” is not a rejection of me as a human being; it’s just a rejection of my request. And an opportunity to perhaps make an alternative request that will elicit a different response. Even a rejected request is still preferable to being unhappy, resentful, or not getting what we want simply because we’re too afraid to ask for it.

So, how about you… Was there ever a time when you felt fearful about asking for what you wanted, but you did it anyway and got a great outcome? Please comment and share your story!